‘Dear Woman’ Video Teaches Men About Inner Feminine Spirit And Brings Out My Inner Knuckle Sammich

     

If I ever – EVER – saw any alleged man doing or saying the things in this video, I’d call him Josephine then teach him how to stop being a little bitch.

With my fist.

 

“Never mind your “inner feminine spirit”, Mary —  here is my outer knuckle sammich.”

But no actual sammiches for them. Literally or euphemistically. In fact, I think they need to get back in the kitchen themselves. Also, iron my skirts!

Except, I’m fairly certain they’d like that. The video is like an audition tape for a masochist. “Someone else did something bad … but PUNISH ME. I’ve been a bad, bad, boy. Oh, please. May I have another?”

Thanks bunches, “feminists”. You may have claimed to need men like a fish needs a bicycle, but some women actually, you know, like men. And want actual men, not sniveling, pathetic whiners who invent even unconscious wrongs with which to further the false, permanently aggrieved, ‘women are perpetual victims’ line.  A man who goes through life with life gurus and Yanni-ish flute music and fancy womb envy and such?

Do not want.

h/t Caleb Howe

Related: “Dear Woman” Scheme to Get Laid With Feminists May Actually Be Working


20 Responses to ‘Dear Woman’ Video Teaches Men About Inner Feminine Spirit And Brings Out My Inner Knuckle Sammich

  1. JCELEPHANT says:

    The original alpha male responds:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-a7KPmOnok&fe

  2. Gandalff says:

    make it stop.. I kept waiting for Ashton Kutchner to come out telling me I was being PUNKED! Now I just want to Punch each one of them in the Junk! WTF I want my 4 min back.. yes 4 I kept watching that long even as I wrote this just to be sure someone didn't jump out laughing…. Get this CRAP off the AIR … MAN UP pussies

  3. Lillith says:

    Uggg, vomit. I reckon these guys keep their balls in a little pink box under their beds…Eww Give me a man that can actually defend me from harm as apposed to crumbling in a ball and weeping like a girl.

    I am going to hug my husband now, he keeps his masculinity close..thankfully.

    Bleechhhhh.

    Actually in a way this actually makes woman out to be these tiny fragile flowers than cannot stand up for themselves, what a frigging insult.

  4. Lillith says:

    Who are these men talking about, because I have never met a woman like this. If we followed this reasoning we would still be living in trees. I am now going to wash the wussie juice off with battery acid.

  5. xax says:

    Why be angry. This is just hilarious. Especially the burned at the stake bit.

  6. JR says:

    Oh, I'm so enlightened, so aware, so superior in my 'consciousness'…Wait, this is just as egotistical as any knuckle dragging Neanderthal. Even more so, they're doing it on behalf of not just them but every man that ever lived on the planet?

    Wannabee alphas pretending to be betas without any of the good stuff about alphas. Eww.

    Shut up and take out the garbage. Do something USEFUL

  7. Matthew Berg says:

    This is my favorite part:

    "In apologizing to you for the hurts we men have caused you, I acknowledge that I and many of my brothers have also felt hurt by our mothers, our sisters, our partners and ex-partners. As a conscious man I am willing to feel those hurts fully within myself and release them. I forgive you for any ways you may have acted unconsciously, as I forgive myself and my gender for our own waking sleep."

    Now that I've spend the past ten minutes telling you that the whole of human history has been characterized by the oppression of women, my conscious male self is going to personally shoulder the burdens of countless generations of women and forgive myself and my gender for them. No harm, no foul; I'm enlightened! Now why don't you scurry off and empathize and emote some. You chicks are good at that.

  8. GWB says:

    I know what this is! It's a rehab video! The soft music, the gardens, the similar woodwork, the spaced-out looking wusses…. These are all guys in a sexual offender rehab clinic. And, they have all been neutered chemically, or are on heavy doses of valium. It's the only rational explanation.

  9. Tuckerman says:

    Background music should have been "I Apologize for Being a Man" by Whiskey Chimp!

    http://new.music.yahoo.com/whiskey-chimp/albums/v

    (or "If I'da Shot You Sooner")

  10. lowercaseM says:

    Okay so I'm pretty sure that's like some sort of beta-male parody performance art. There's no WAY anyone is so ridiculously whipped and pathetic. Seriously, the video is hilarious! I can't stop laughing at the sheer absurdity of it!

    The prospect that these people meant this over done melodrama seriously … well I can't decide if that makes it more funny or less funny.

  11. Someguy says:

    It’s like a test….

    If you turn it off after 1 to 3 minutes you’re a normal person.

    If you turn it off after 3 to 6 minutes because you have an overwhelming urge to injure someone you’re probably trained in resisting advanced torture techniques.

    If you watch the whole thing without feeling the need to go on a murderous rampage you should probably have your testicles checked to see if they’ve dropped yet.

    • John W. says:

      I watched the whole thing – and had a lot of laughs.

      To everyone else, don't call them "beta males." They're gamma at least, maybe delta.

  12. Suzie Homemaker says:

    Oh come one, do they really think women are that stupid? These "men" need to deal with their own shit instead of listing the faults of other men. What unabashed male ego crap. How about you apologize to the women you personally have taken out emotionally and grow a set while you're at it. BTW, this will NOT get you laid goatboy.

  13. Rufus says:

    I for one thought this was long overdo. We men have trodden and trampled all over Gaia and have disrespected women for eons. It's time we men as a collective apologized for the harms we have committed. Woman, I am sorry on behalf of my gender for the hurt you have endured. Please forgive us.

    • Lillith says:

      Rufus, please tell me you are joking….I was just going to tell you to f@#$ off, but thought maby you were just being cute!

  14. The embedding for the video has been disabled, to be explained here.

  15. I started to throw up in my mouth halfway through this video. Eunuchs.

  16. Mark Demon says:

    I have a quick one word rebuttal to these wussies. If we all want to show women respect and that we find them to be the fairer sex (they are definitely better looking than we are) then I say one thing. "Chivalry". Bring it back and tell women to stop calling me a sexist pig for opening a door for them. Or offering to carry their groceries, or to lay my coat over a puddle so that they don't soil there shoes on the filth laid out by these pansies.

    I feel more respect for women than these idiots do. I have never paid for sex, I've never hit a woman, I've never raped a woman and I have never barred a woman from anything she is capable of.

    Don't apologize for me. I have nothing to apologize for. And I refuse to be "wussified" buy a bunch of guys who have already given there balls to science, or where ever the hell they forgot them.

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