The editors of the New York Times lust after bogus trend stories. My all time favorite was last year’s For the A-Cup Crowd, Minimal Assets Are a Plus. (In case you were wondering, “the persistent strain of A-cup pride running through our culture is unmistakable.”)
And now there’s a new “unmistakable” trend sweeping the nation: idle sex drives.
Pepperidge Farm! Hulu! Curriculum Night! Art!
being touched by one’s husband or partner
How did writer Meg Wolitzer stumble upon this noteworthy cultural phenomenon? It all started when a friend told her the story of a woman who announced at a party, “I would pay someone to have sex with my husband.” Other people at the gathering laughed and snorted in agreement. One woman even clapped.
Sounds like a trend!
And like all New York Times articles on the New Big Thing, this one offers other clear evidence to back up what might otherwise be considered anecdotal. Because this one time, when the author was 14, she totally said “no” to her velour robe-wearing boyfriend when he wanted to go to third base. And this other time, a guy told her that a little porn and a date with Rosy Palm and her five sisters is sometimes preferable to actual sex.
See? The New York Times has not one, not two, but three whole stories to suggest that people are turning down sex with their partners in
record uncertain numbers.
Either the human race is doomed, or we have new, unwanted insight into Meg Wolitzer’s sex life. Bowchickaewwww.