Yo! EPA Raps

     

Your tax dollars hard at work: the Environmental Protection Agency has released a new song, purportedly a “rap,” to proselytize green living. For The Children ™!

Apparently the EPA couldn’t attract cutting edge talent like PaRappa the Rapper so they went with EPA desk jockey Ted Coopwood. Dan Miller at The PJ Tatler thinks this is a shoo-in for an MTV award. Category? “Worst. Rap. Evar.

Full lyrics below the video, but here’s my favorite line designed to terrorize children into toeing the green line:

The climate is changing and that’s a fact, bears don’t know when to take a nap, On top of that it won’t be cool when the flood waters rise and mosquitoes rule.

Come on and Click it, flip it, turn the handle to the right, turn off the water, twist the handle real tight. Slip on your sneakers, lace em up tight, leave the car parked you know that’s alright. Public transportation is the way to go, it’s one of the ways to keep emissions low, you can ride your bike, instead of the car, if we save on fuel then we’ll all go far.

I said Click it, flip it, turn the handle to the right, turn off the water, twist the handle real tight. Slip on your sneakers, lace em up tight, leave the car parked you know that’s alright. Public transportation is the way to go, it’s one of the ways to keep emissions low, you can ride your bike, instead of the car, if we save on fuel then we’ll all go far.

You can pick up paper and recycle it too, and there are many other things that you can do. You can click off the game boy, flip off the light, while you’re brushing your teeth, turn the handle to the right. Close the fridge door – keep it shut tight, no food has been added since the middle of the night. A 5 minute shower is all that’s needed to keep energy from being depleted. A long sleeve sweater is what I know – will keep you toasty and the fuel bills low. Plant a tree in your neighborhood, besides giving shade you know it looks real good.

I said Click it, flip it, turn the handle to the right, turn off the water, twist the handle real tight. Slip on your sneakers, lace em up tight, leave the car parked you know that’s alright. Public transportation is the way to go, it’s one of the ways to keep emissions low, you can ride your bike, instead of the car, if we save on fuel then we’ll all go far.

The USA is where we are to kick a new trend and to raise the bar. The climate is changing and that’s a fact, bears don’t know when to take a nap, On top of that it won’t be cool when the flood waters rise and mosquitoes rule. It’s time to get off the couch and start to move.

Come on and Click it, flip it, turn the handle to the right, turn off the water, twist the handle real tight. Slip on your sneakers, lace em up tight, leave the car parked you know that’s alright. Public transportation is the way to go, it’s one of the ways to keep emissions low, you can ride your bike, instead of the car, if we save on fuel then we’ll all go far.

Come on and Click it, flip it, turn the handle to the right.

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